Day 3 of ‘The Success Principles 10 Day Transformation’. I didn’t do so well yesterday as one of the goals I set for myself was to get an article written for a magazine that has been sitting around, unworked for two weeks. I should have done it, and I didn’t. No excuses. But, I got up this morning, finished the article and sent it off. So I don’t feel too bad about it now.
But what does Day 3 have in store?
Blame. It’s easy to blame others for the circumstances of our lives. I’ve done it plenty of times. I still do. I blamed my parents for not having enough money to be able to provide the opportunites that others had. I blamed a friend who encouraged me into the teaching profession, for wasting a signficant part of my life that did not allow me to live to my potential. I blamed the college timetable, when I was 16 years old, for not allowing me to study and thus pursue my writing career, and for pushing me in a direction that I didn’t want to go in.
Too often in life, we put the blame somewhere outside of ourselves, for our circumstances. but our circumstances are what we have and we have to deal with them the best way we can. We need to make positive choices, given our circumstances, to bring as much happiness and security and love that we can into our own lives, without harming others.
E+R=O is the way Jack puts it. Event + Response = Outcome.
We may have no control over the event (someone shouts at you, the weather is bad, an earthquake happens, your wife leaves you), but we do have control over our response (we get upset or send love to the person that shouted, we get wet or take an umbrella with us when it rains, we look at our destroyed home or pick up our lives and go help those in need, we sit and feel sad or try to solve the problems we had in our marriage). Whatever choice we make, leads to the outcome. The outcome is entirely dependent on the Event and the Response. The bit we are in control of 100%, is the Response.
So here are some claiming back blame points that I made in this exercise:
1/ Whenever I feel let down by parents lack of money to provide me with the opportunities earlier in my life, I will send them love and understanding that they were doing the very best they could, with what they had at the time.
2/ Whenever I feel resentment for being encouraged into the life of a school-teacher, I will reflect on the fact that this is now the past, and I have a great new opportunity to build the life that I wish for.
3/ When the job that I was promised fell through, instead of blaming the school, I will be enthusiastic about the opportunity I now to build a new career, in the direction that I wish to go in.
Blaming doesn’t help, ever. Seeing circumstances as opportunities is the only way forward. Sitting and blaming others, the government, the weather, the tax system, the economy, doesn’t help. Taking them for what they are: opportunities to correct our own thinking does.
I will be back with Day 4 tomorrow.